MINDFUL HOLIDAY GIFTING & BUYING: EASTER EDITION

I've been really trying to be more mindful in my life - especially when it comes to what I fill our home with. Holidays get me really excited and I tend to get tempted by all the holiday items flooding the stores but I have been using a few rules to guide me lately that have been working quite well.

I ask myself these questions:
Is this item good quality? (Or does it NEED to be good quality for this purpose?)
Is this item useful?
Is this item timeless or simply a trend?
Does this item make me happy?

Is this item good quality? (Or does it NEED to be good quality for this purpose?)
For holidays, not everything needs to be "good quality." I am all about hitting up the dollar store for candy, crayons, notebooks, stickers, you know things that will just be used up anyway. When it comes to toys or puzzles however, I have learned my lesson that cheaper isn't always cheaper. Buying up every educational foam puzzle from the dollar store has not been the most wise choice. Foam puzzles from the dollar store are flimsy and get lost, torn up, and ruined. A wooden puzzle is much more long lasting purchase. 

Is this item useful?
This is something I am REALLY trying to remember. Sometimes useful items are surprisingly exciting to a child. Kids love their own adult like tools. I'll never forget how excited my boys were when I brought home their own child size kitchen tools. 
I try to think of things that are not simply a holiday novelty item but rather something that will truly be enjoyed, and used. I love to use holidays as a good excuse to buy a little better quality necessity item rather than a bunch of dinky trinkets. For example, that all natural bubble bath that we love, or the boys favorite fruity organic toothpaste, some good quality shoes or Sunday clothes, or a fun pair of pajamas. Holidays are also a good excuse for me to purchase some new learning tools such as puzzles, Montessori tools, and books. 

Is this item timeless or simply a trend?
I use this rule most when I am buying home decor or clothing for myself but there are times when a certain child's toy or accessory becomes really trendy and I have to ask myself this question. I am very sentimental. I like to picture the things in my home being passed down to my children and enjoyed by them and THEIR children. If I can't imagine that item lasting or being relevant for years to come I avoid it - at least I TRY to remember to do that. My family and friends sometimes tease me about the toys I purchase but I have a method to my madness I swear! I don't want to buy my child a plastic tricycle that will get weathered and broken and scratched up. A metal tricycle will age well even if it does get weathered. The same goes for wooden or other good quality toys. I want the items to not only be good quality to but to be something that stays relevant for years. Any child can make fun with a set of blocks. 

Does this item make me happy?
I know this may seem silly, but sometimes I am tempted to buy something my children beg for just because they asked for it. However, if this toy is an electronic noise maker that makes me crazy every time they play with it, I am going to regret that purchase on a daily basis. I use this rule for even the smallest things. I am a housewife and I am in my home almost all day every day. I think it's important to make the place you spend a lot of time into a sanctuary. When I worked an office job, my co-workers always noticed this about my desk. I always made it a point to have happy plants, photographs, and decor that made the mundane just a little bit brighter. Not only did it cheer ME up, but others noticed and commented as well. Now, as a housewife, I strive to do the same thing in my entire home. I also add that sometimes the loss of an item can make your home happier. I am learning to stop feeling guilty about getting rid of things that weigh me down or clutter up my home. For me, a neat and tidy home is  a happy home and less "stuff" only makes it easier to keep it that way!

Easter:
For Easter and Christmas our family has a few traditions when it comes to the things they receive in their basket or stocking.
Every Easter the Easter bunny brings the boys new ties to wear on Easter Sunday, an Easter themed book, a chocolate bunny, and something Christ centered.

I am a firm believer in mama and the Easter bunny "working together" to find things to fill the baskets. Here are some things the boys have received in the past or I have in mind for this year. Note that these are just ideas that definitely don't all end up in the baskets. I am never totally sure what the Easter bunny will be able to "spring for" by the time Easter comes around. We've got another little basket for him to fill this year now! Sorry Easter bunny! Hehe!

Little Boy basket ideas:
Sunday shirt
Necktie
Summer hat (baseball cap or fedora)
Swim Trunks
Beach towel
Flip Flops
Sunglasses
Sea sponge
Bubble bath
Bath toys
Pool toys
Toothpaste
Flossers
Wooden animal figure
Book
Fun kids music
Coloring Book
Crayons or colored pencils
Stickers
Jesus Coloring Book
Gospel Art cards
Rubiks cube
Small puzzle
Board game
Matching game
Ring Toss game
Moveable Alphabet
Kids dishes
Kitchen tools - banana slicer, crinkle cutter, strawberry huller, egg slicer
Wooden Nesting Easter Eggs
Chocolate Bunny
Chocolate carrots
Annie's bunny cookies or cheddar bunnies
Juice Drink

Baby Girl Basket Ideas:
Easter Dress (SO excited about this!)
Hairbow
Baby bonnet
Swimsuit
Montessori baby toys
Wooden teether
Binky clip
Baby toothbrush
Baby Gym
Bunny onsie
Stuffed Bunny

Here is a link to my Amazon Wishlist for Easter. Also some of my other favorite shops that I shop at for Holidays are: The Land of Nod, Seedling, Dollar Tree, H&M, Target, & TJ Maxx.

P.S. The Easter Basket shown above is from H&M but is now sold out. (I just love using a traditional egg basket for eater.) You can find similar ones at Dollar tree that I am using for baby Penny this year. I would also check local consignment or thrift stores for traditional egg baskets.

Also we usually grow real easter grass to fill our baskets each year but this year with having anew babe and all I am not feeling up to it. Here is a link to how to grow your own eater grass.

HOMEBIRTH, HOW MEN DO IT! (Trenton's perspective)

My thoughts on home birth? AWESOME! Everyone should do it! Randi originally had the idea and I didn't have strong feelings one way or the other other than my general dislike for hospitals.

I was shocked at how uneducated I was - especially having already gone through two births. Having a midwife and going to hypnobabies classes, made me realize that I should have gone to the hospital more informed. Rather I had the ignorant mindset to think we could simply go to the hospital and they would take care of everything. The problem is, they do. From cord cutting to bathing baby, they take care of everything not leaving much choice up to the parents unless the parents are aggressive about their wants.
The process of having a midwife is a lot more involved than a monthly dr. visit. I felt more responsible as a father for this baby. Every step of the way right up until the birth, I felt much more a part of everything.

Not having the experience of my wife going natural before, the event of going into labor was unfamiliar to me. With both our sons, we knew the day that our baby would be born. The thrill of a baby coming at any moment was both exciting and terrifying. Even when Randi DID go into labor, having not experienced it I wasn't sure it was actually happening. And I was looking for others tell us that labor actually was happening. Our awesome midwife wasn't telling us anything though and took the approach of Randi's queues telling HER what stage she was at. There WAS a point however where it was unmistakable!

The birthing day went pretty much as you would expect for a husband - You know where you stand around with a stupid look your face while the woman does all the work. Randi was using the birthing ball to deal with her contractions and I was on standby.

Then, Randi decided she wanted the birthing tub. The midwife let on that it was a huge hassle to get the tub set-up and full …at which point I informed her that I am a plumber and I could make this happen!  She was excited and her tone changed immediately. She sent the birthing assistant to get the tub right away. Finally, a way for me to be useful! I ran outside and cranked the water heater to the maximum heat capacity and started clearing the way by moving furniture. I prepped hoses and got everything ready …you know, like a man does!

The tub seemed to help Randi a lot. With my rather weak efforts to channel Randi's hypnosis, I felt quite inadequate and was glad the tub could help her. But that too was fleeting relief. As Randi neared transition it was clear that she was in a lot of pain. I felt totally helpless and totally unable to provide any meaningful support as this was happening. I couldn't stop it or slow it down nor would I want to. Randi expressed that my hand holding was a great comfort but imagine being in my shoes holding someone's hands when they are going through the most pain they've ever felt. I felt there was no way that could be sufficient comfort.

My thoughts were turned to the Savior who himself faced an inevitable struggle that he knew he had to face alone. At least Randi had my hand.

This is one of the main reasons I recommend a home birth. Not to watch your wife struggle, but to rather watch her do something you can't do. To feel that gratitude and wonder for your wife is a very marriage strengthening and unifying experience.

When Penny came out, she was immediately placed on Randi's chest and everything changed in an instant. Fear and uncertainty transformed into immense joy and fulfillment. And for the third time I watched my wife transform instantly into a mother as she held her baby for the first time - knowing exactly how to take care of her.

Now for the good part! No doctors! No nurses! No family in the waiting room! Just me, my wife, and Cyndi our midwife who we've come to know and trust well. Not to mention a great birthing assistant April.

To have one of the most sacred moments in your life be without a bunch strangers coming in and out was such a stark contrast to our previous experiences. Time to bond with baby with no pressure of getting out of the room, getting the baby clean, getting this or that test was amazing.

Cyndi and April cleaned up everything and there was not a trace or sign that a baby had just been born in our home. Penny was healthy with no complications, everything went smoothly. If you haven't done it, do it! Homebirth is definitely worth doing!

PENNY'S BIRTH STORY

Towards the end of my pregnancy, Trenton and I took a hypnobabies class. I wanted to equip myself mentally to be able to withstand the pain of labor. Hypnobabies was so much more than just teaching me to fight pain.. it was a marriage strengthening, confidence building, mind strengthening, knowledge building experience. I love how hypnobabies provided me with tracks to listen to daily - particularly the positive affirmations track that was filled with positive words that calmed me. Hypnobabies was extremely helpful to me in preparing me mentally to believe in my ability to fulfill my calling as a woman. Just as a note, Hypnobabies uses a different language: Contractions are called pressure waves, labor is called birthing time, and transition is called transformation.

The day after my due date, (January 28th) I had my midwife check me to find that I was not dilated or thinning hardly at all. I was quite discouraged because I was feeling Braxton hicks and lots of pressure in my cervix. I had my midwife sweep me but we weren't confident it would do much. Also baby hadn't grown since the previous week so I was a bit worried. I used the fear clearing track that night to calm myself along with prayer. 

Friday, January 29th, I woke up after having a good cry the night before. I was worried about everything Thursday - worried about baby's growth, about going over my due date and having to go to the hospital, worried about complications arising, etc. Friday morning however, I felt peace. I had taken all my worries and placed them in front of me - gave them a good look then tossed them out. I no longer felt worry - just determination to do all that I needed to do to get baby here. I hung out on the birthing ball all day and if i wasn't bouncing on the ball, i was doing exercises and stretches. Mid morning that day I lost my mucus plug. I was excited to see something happen that meant progress but I had seen this before with my second pregnancy and still got induced days later. I started getting sporadic "birthing waves" (contractions) but didn't think much that either. 

Saturday morning (January 30th) I woke at 4:30am to contractions that were 30 seconds long and about 10 minutes apart. I waited til 6:00am to text my midwife. My midwife then told me to track the contractions for another hour then and by 8am they were stronger and closer together. We called my parents and asked them to come pick up the boys - not really knowing if we would have a baby that day. We sat down as a family of four on our bed and Trenton said a family prayer. Trenton also gave me a blessing right after the prayer. His prayer and blessing were beautiful and the spirit was strongly present. As contractions got stronger I was pausing to focus and Maxwell was concerned - asking me if I was sad. I told him I was very happy but that I had a stomach ache. hehe. Jude was just really bouncy and didn't notice what was even going on. I was glad at that moment to have my parents coming to get them.


I got in my bathtub (as my midwife suggested to me) and listened to my birthing day affirmations and started channelling my hypno-anesthesia with each wave. (Hypno-anesthesia is a visualization technique that helps eliminate pain.) I found myself turning my switch to center and saying in my head "pressure not pain" as I visualized the anesthesia attacking the pain in my body. I was doing quite good at eliminating pain or at least dulling it. I felt really calm and in control of my contractions. 

My midwife Cyndi arrived around 9:00am. When she had told me she was coming over but wasn't going to rush I thought "Oh I guess she's just coming as support… that's so nice!" I still wasn't sure if I was having a baby that day or not. haha! Anyway, when my midwife saw me in my bath she asked if it was helping and if I wanted to use her birthing pool... I hadn't planned to use it but opted to try it because the water was nice but my tub was not comfortable. The birthing assistant April brought the pool and we filled it up while I got out of the bath and used my hypnosis through each birthing wave - while sitting on the birthing ball. We decided to put the birthing pool in Penny's room simply because it fit best there. I didn't know if I'd delver there and thought maybe I'd just use the water for comfort but thought it would be fun to deliver in Penny's room if it worked out that way.

By about 11:30 the pool was full and I got in. The water was an amazing comfort and I hadn't even thought until then about how my special safe place is in water and how right for me a water birth could be.  (A special safe place is a place the very first hypnobabies track tells you to visualize. It's really sweet! The track tells you to imagine somewhere relaxing and happy. I imagined a pool in a white room with big windows with me floating in the water and my boys around me. The track also tells you to imagine yourself holding your baby and to talk to your baby.. it's pretty much the sweetest thing to visualize and moved me to tears a few times.) The playlist my dad made for me for my birthing time was playing and as one of my favorite songs came on (homeward bound) I remember feeling this overwhelming sense of peace and joy. I could feel the warmth of the spirit so strongly and I was moved to tears. This feeling was something I had looked forward to - something I knew was more likely to happen in my home than the hospital.

Birthing waves quickly becamee more and more intense at that point and my husband was doing a great job at saying "relax" and "peace" (both words to signal hypnosis) to calm me. But ultimately, I had to remove myself from the real world and search within myself for strength and peace. I would immerse my entire body except my face and hands (which were holding my husband's hands) under the water and either pray or say peace to myself. The anesthesia became harder for me to channel and then I became really loud. haha! I remember thinking I sounded like a cow and I think I freaked my husband out a little! hehe!

As I got more vocal, the midwife and birthing assistant started to seem excited and were telling me I was doing great. I kept asking my midwife when I should push and she said I need to trust myself and push when I feel the urge. It was so strange for me to not be told when to push but soon enough I was able to listen to my body. By then it was happening so fast and I lost all control, I did not know how to channel hypnosis anymore. I was scared and I was making a lot of noise. I remember praying to my heavenly father to give me the strength I knew I did not have without his help. I knew what I needed to do but I did not want to do it. I told my midwife I was scared and she then said "Randi, give me your hand." She put my hand on baby's crowning head and this incredible peace came over me. All pain left me - I saw my special safe place, my body relaxed and I let out a big sigh. (Trenton also tells me I said "I love her!" but I don't remember that.) I knew I was about to meet my baby. 


Three pushes later and my sweet Penny was on my chest and in my arms. It took some loud noises and pain to get her out but all pain left me instantly once she was in my arms. Our sweet 7 pound, 2 ounce and 21 inches long Penny Belle Gardner was born on January 30th, 2016 at 1:19pm. She was born on a beautiful Saturday afternoon in her bedroom, in our home - just as we had hoped.

After Penny was born, my midwife wanted me to walk to my bedroom to deliver the placenta. I'm still cracking up about how I was holding my baby - umbilical cord still attached - while climbing out of the pool, and walking through the hall to my bed. It's amazing to me that I could just get up and walk instantly! I felt amazing! I delivered the placenta and Trenton cut the cord after it stopped pulsating. (If you don't know about delayed cord clamping, look it up! I was shocked to find out that there are many nutrients still remaining in the placenta even after the baby is delivered… it is so beneficial to wait and let the placenta and cord drain before cutting it off from baby.) I didn't need any stitching - I had a very minor tear. I didn't need any medicine, or oxygen. Everything was so completely uncomplicated and wonderful.I was able to have skin to skin time with Penny and let Trenton hold her too for a long time while my midwife and birthing assistant cleaned up, did paperwork etc. They then helped me shower while they changed my bed sheets and made my room comfortable! They even fed me! hehe! The care from Cyndi and April was absolutely wonderful. I felt sad when they finally left - like they were my best friends now and I didn't want to say goodbye. I am so thankful for them and highly recommend them!

It is incredible to have two strong women guiding you but not telling you what to do - reassuring you that YOU have the strength to know how to give birth to a baby. Giving birth naturally is the single most character building experience of my life. I feel like I am this transformed woman walking around in this seemingly normal looking body. Yes I appear to be simply a 27-year old average looking woman.. but inside I am powerful, strong, and immovable. I am daughter of God with the ability to channel his godly power. I have a divine role as a wife to Trenton, a favored son of God and worthy priesthood holder. And as a mother to Jude, Maxwell, Penny and the other sweet spirits waiting for us in heaven. I am not what I appear to be on the outside, I am so much more. And giving birth naturally has made this truth so much more clear to me. 

This experience was all that I wanted it to be. It is an incredible experience to do something you never thought you could do. It is amazing to have to rely on the Lord so strongly, to pray harder than ever before, to rely on your husband so strongly and feel that incredible bond of husband and wife bringing life to the earth together. 

Stay tuned for Trenton's version of the birth story!  

*** Click through to see pictures - they are pretty personal so I left them after the jump in case you don't want to see me nearly naked and my placenta. lol! ***

OUR JOURNEY TO HAVING A HOME BIRTH

In order to share Penny's birth story, I feel I need to share my past experience with birth and also a bit of our journey to making the decision to have a home birth. 

With my first baby, I did not inform myself very much. I read "What to expect when you're expecting" and followed my pregnancy tracker online, but I didn't do much more than that. I didn't read up on all ways of giving birth and had never heard anything about delayed cord clamping, waiting to bathe the baby, etc. I also didn't really worry about what I consumed while pregnant. When the time came to have my sweet baby boy, I was induced at 41 weeks at which I had an epidural and an episiotomy. The labor was 12 hours long but I didn't mind because I had an epidural and no pain - or feeling for that matter. My sweet Jude was 9lbs 1 oz. I was so happy to have my baby on my chest and in my arms but the days after were not easy. I discovered that I had ripped to a 5 degree and because of that, I could hardly walk. 

Fast forward two and a half years later and I was about to have baby boy #2. I had switched to a Dr. I could communicate with better and was so happy to have him deliver our baby! This pregnancy I was more active and watched what I ate more and also informed myself a little more. I knew I did not want an episiotomy and I wanted to wait longer to get the epidural so I could feel contractions and know that pain - in case I ever wanted to go natural. Baby Maxwell decided to flip at 38 weeks so we scheduled a version at almost 39 weeks and found he had flipped back. Because of the flipping scare however, we begged the Dr. to induce me a week before my due date and we had our sweet Maxwell at 8lbs 3oz. The labor with Maxwell was 6 hours long with a less strong epidural - where I could actually feel pressure and direct my pushing. I liked that I felt more involved and like I was actually doing something to get this baby out. Maxwell's birth was much better because I spoke up for the experience I wanted and got it! Afterwards however was rough. I was plagued with post-partum depression and a sick baby. Max had reflux, colic, eczema and had jaundice. I was really struggling with my identity as a mother.. I was not happy and didn't feel like I could handle motherhood or life for that matter.

After my first two birth experiences, I knew I wanted to wait longer to have the next baby, and I wanted to inform myself and do things differently. I also knew I needed to become more mentally healthy. I did some soul searching, some bettering of myself, some major spiritual work took place and I finally felt like my true self again. During this time, we as a family also made a big decision to homeschool. Our eyes were opened to a path meant for our family and the more we learned about schooling and the current state of the school systems, the more we saw everything differently. Suddenly I couldn't see anywhere being as safe as my home. I no longer felt I could leave my best interest up to establishments such as schools and hospitals. Although both homeschooling and home birthing seemed completely impossible and even frightening to me, public school and a hospital birth seemed even more impossible and frightening. Then began my research in natural birth and home birth.

I had quite a few friends that had delivered naturally that I could talk to and it was such a blessing! I asked one of my friends a lot about her home birth specifically. My friend and her husband spoke to Trenton and I about their home birth experience a lot and it got us really excited! It felt really good to have Trenton on board with the idea of going naturally too. When I became pregnant, we prayed about the decision and felt an overwhelming sense of peace. We met with a midwife and were so thrilled to hear how "in-line" her philosophies were with ours.  

Cyndi, my midwife became more than a baby doctor, she became a friend, a place for knowledge and reassurance. I felt such a wonderful sense of care from her and like I had so many tools at my finger tips to inform myself. I learned about delayed cord clamping, delayed bathing, natural healing, and more! I felt so empowered during this pregnancy! I felt like I was finally going to give birth the way I wanted to - even though I hadn't realized I wanted this with the other two. And as the end of the pregnancy neared, I only felt more and more confident in my abilities and the experience I was about to have! 

I'M AN USBORNE BOOKS CONSULTANT!

I just signed up as an Usborne books Consultant! Don't even ask me what I was thinking - adding one more thing to my plate. lol! I just LOVE these books and want to use and share them more! It got me thinking about how these books have truly been a part of our family and will forever be in our memories and then I watched this video we had made (featuring the "Pull back busy Train Book") right after Maxwell was born (Almost 2 1/2 year ago. *sniff) I honestly can't watch this without crying! I'm so thankful to my friends Jostlyn and Carson for capturing this for us, it is so dear to me!

If any of you would like to do a party, let me know! I can do online parties or house parties and I'd love to just keep it casual and easy going. And take a look at these amazing books online here: http://r4874.myubam.com! These books truly speak for themselves! 

FAMILY LIGHTS THE WORLD EVENT

I made this flyer for this amazing Event and I can't wait for it! All the families that attend will light the sky up with flashlights at the end and light the sky together. Families that can't attend are encouraged to light the sky in their own yard or neighborhood with family and friends. I am so blessed to have contributed a small part to the Gathering Families cause, it has really opened my eyes to some passions I didn't know I had! 

HOMESCHOOL PREP 2015

Lot's has been going on here in the Gardner home. I knew when I made the decision to homeschool that this was going to be a very crazy time to do so but when you know it's right, you just can't ignore that. Shortly after I decided to homeschool I was called as primary president at church, then I became pregnant with baby #3. Around that time we even thought we may be moving but thankfully (I say that now) it didn't pan out. With a possible ankle surgery for the husband this fall, this could get even more crazy but somehow I'm not my usual self - freaking out with worry. Somehow, although I don't even have a curriculum chosen, I feel like everything is going to be great.

I am glad that we finally made a trip up to IKEA to grab some things - it made me feel like i was finally making a step forward from all the talk of "what we are going to do."

We grabbed some shelves and supplies to help organize our school supplies and works and set them up in the boys room. We also grabbed a cart to fill with supplies that we can roll around the house for convenience. Among a few other things we picked up some exercise mats of which I am most excited about. I can just imagine us doing yoga, circle time, story time on the mats and that makes me so happy!

Another step forward for me was finally finding a co-op to join. The homeschool community is growing fast here in southern Utah so all the existing co-ops are full. I was glad to get a call from one of my only homeschool connections saying she decided to start a new one... I gladly joined in! Whew! A co-op is a key part of homeschooling where families meet once a week and teach each other, socialize and give each other support and advice. I can't wait to become a part of the community and learn from other like minded mothers!

I am currently praying about a curriculum, a routine and awaiting some training from Jude's old preschool teacher. I also have the big supply list hanging over my head and need like $1000 - if anyone has that just lying around. As I said however, I know I won't have all the supplies, I may be pregnant and tired, I may not even know what curriculum I like best but come September I know we will be ready to learn together. (I am praying for more patience and energy for sure!)