My thoughts on home birth? AWESOME! Everyone should do it! Randi originally had the idea and I didn't have strong feelings one way or the other other than my general dislike for hospitals.
I was shocked at how uneducated I was - especially having already gone through two births. Having a midwife and going to hypnobabies classes, made me realize that I should have gone to the hospital more informed. Rather I had the ignorant mindset to think we could simply go to the hospital and they would take care of everything. The problem is, they do. From cord cutting to bathing baby, they take care of everything not leaving much choice up to the parents unless the parents are aggressive about their wants.
The process of having a midwife is a lot more involved than a monthly dr. visit. I felt more responsible as a father for this baby. Every step of the way right up until the birth, I felt much more a part of everything.
Not having the experience of my wife going natural before, the event of going into labor was unfamiliar to me. With both our sons, we knew the day that our baby would be born. The thrill of a baby coming at any moment was both exciting and terrifying. Even when Randi DID go into labor, having not experienced it I wasn't sure it was actually happening. And I was looking for others tell us that labor actually was happening. Our awesome midwife wasn't telling us anything though and took the approach of Randi's queues telling HER what stage she was at. There WAS a point however where it was unmistakable!
The birthing day went pretty much as you would expect for a husband - You know where you stand around with a stupid look your face while the woman does all the work. Randi was using the birthing ball to deal with her contractions and I was on standby.
Then, Randi decided she wanted the birthing tub. The midwife let on that it was a huge hassle to get the tub set-up and full …at which point I informed her that I am a plumber and I could make this happen! She was excited and her tone changed immediately. She sent the birthing assistant to get the tub right away. Finally, a way for me to be useful! I ran outside and cranked the water heater to the maximum heat capacity and started clearing the way by moving furniture. I prepped hoses and got everything ready …you know, like a man does!
The tub seemed to help Randi a lot. With my rather weak efforts to channel Randi's hypnosis, I felt quite inadequate and was glad the tub could help her. But that too was fleeting relief. As Randi neared transition it was clear that she was in a lot of pain. I felt totally helpless and totally unable to provide any meaningful support as this was happening. I couldn't stop it or slow it down nor would I want to. Randi expressed that my hand holding was a great comfort but imagine being in my shoes holding someone's hands when they are going through the most pain they've ever felt. I felt there was no way that could be sufficient comfort.
My thoughts were turned to the Savior who himself faced an inevitable struggle that he knew he had to face alone. At least Randi had my hand.
This is one of the main reasons I recommend a home birth. Not to watch your wife struggle, but to rather watch her do something you can't do. To feel that gratitude and wonder for your wife is a very marriage strengthening and unifying experience.
When Penny came out, she was immediately placed on Randi's chest and everything changed in an instant. Fear and uncertainty transformed into immense joy and fulfillment. And for the third time I watched my wife transform instantly into a mother as she held her baby for the first time - knowing exactly how to take care of her.
Now for the good part! No doctors! No nurses! No family in the waiting room! Just me, my wife, and Cyndi our midwife who we've come to know and trust well. Not to mention a great birthing assistant April.
To have one of the most sacred moments in your life be without a bunch strangers coming in and out was such a stark contrast to our previous experiences. Time to bond with baby with no pressure of getting out of the room, getting the baby clean, getting this or that test was amazing.
Cyndi and April cleaned up everything and there was not a trace or sign that a baby had just been born in our home. Penny was healthy with no complications, everything went smoothly. If you haven't done it, do it! Homebirth is definitely worth doing!
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